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Some quasi-funny German text I wrote once

TL;DR: Only funny if you speak German. And even then.

A couple of years back I worked on a game concept set in an existing fantasy setting. The potential client was German so I wrote it in German. I wrote a little example of what the game would be like. This was not sent directly to the client, for reasons that will become obvious.

It began like this:

"Dingsbums Zweiarm ist ein Zwerg der Ersten. Seine Aufgabe ist es, eine wichtige Nachricht nach ab zu liefen. Er traegt der Axt von Langobart, sein Urgrossvater und grosser Held seines Clans. Zusaetzlich hat er eine Flasche Magiwurz und eine "Hilfe in der Not" Karte dabei.

Er wird begleitet von Grummdil Knonfuttr und Aroma, eine Halbalbin."

We didn't get the contract.

Update: My poor German is not the joke, you nose-bears. At least that is not what I am laughing at.